I appreciate that you don't 'do' perfection and that your purpose is to get the story down on paper regardless of pretty words or sensible sentences. But leading someone into a lair (I know it's an undertakers, but seriously!!!) and following it by having a character say our MC has a 'similar, vicious soul' to the big bad of the book when she quite clearly doesn't and never did have. I think I just vomited... Or rather, you did.
Your 'sixteenth chapter' sucks big time.
Cate
PS On second thoughts, the kisses are removed.
Dear Second Draft in Progress,
You know removing 'lair' and 'vicious soul' is okay, but you really haven't got to grips with what's happening in this scene. It's all blah-blah-BeingDeathisPoop-blah-ScaryManDoesn'tUnderstandMe-Blah-IDon'tUnderstandMe-SeveralMoreParagraphsofBlah.
Cate
PS You've yet to earn your kisses.
15 comments:
Awww don't be so hard on them. They're doing the best they can. I'm sure Third Draft will fly in and save the day.
Not gonna lie-- I like both the idea of a lair, and a "similar, vicious soul".
I suppose I would, though.
I'm aiming for Draft Nineteen perfection.
Katey - in your book they'd be beautiful things; in this, not so good. Though at least no one's sparkling despite an abundance of frost.
I don't think I've *ever* achieved perfection. Even after a dozen rewrites and the passage of years, I'll go back and spot stuff I want to change.
Me neither, but we can pretend it's possible.
That's right: you make those drafts woo you!
Keep on trucking, lady. You'll get there in the end... (hopefully)
Third draft waits expectantly in the wings...
Dear Cate, I hope you're first draft comes to its senses. I also hope your second draft gets a handle on its angst.
I laughed about the "kiss removal". That draft totally deserved it though.
Cate, don't worry it will come. I know there have been days where I'm moping around trying to figure out WTF is wrong with the chapter/scene/paragraph... I know it's not right, it's not coming together but eventually it does.
Good luck with your chapter. I know it'll be great. :D
It isn't as bad as it seems. It rarely is. :)
I sympathise so hard. I'm terrified to get back to my own first draft. *shudder*
Best of luck! I have complete faith you can do this <3
Natalie, they should I think.
Simon, you'd think so.
Aaron, it's itching to kick this draft's butt.
Alan, it's looking like a no.
It did, India.
Hinny, my chapter disagrees.
Jamie, I'll admit by the morning light it was slightly prettier - lair aside.
Cory, first drafts start off so well and then they just fade into nonsense (for me).
I'm into my second draft at the moment and some of it doesn't sound fit to be part of the first draft.
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