A Different Kind of Drum Roll

Oh dear me, I am just like a yo-yo. Up, down, up, down, down, down, wheeeeeeee... I may also have lost the plot (or so a few agents may well wonder).

So I'm querying 'The Poisoned Apple' and, eventhough I'm not even one week into it, I've already decided it's not going to sell, or rather it's not going to nab me an amazing-wonderful agent or even a poop one (not that I'd query a poop one of course - well not yet). Picture a brunette sitting on a step, her heart shaped face turned up to the sky and listen to the sigh escaping her beestung lips. (That's not me by the way).

The query search started off well. I queried one person on Easter Sunday because she/he had a super famous YA author on their books (okay, my book is MG, but she/he also represents those) and within 7 minutes she/he asked for the full. Seriously, I skipped around the house for an hour. Then, when my legs gave out I did some extra research on said agent. Scratched my head and thought uh-oh, she/he represents an awful lot of romance books. I'd reformulated my query so it wasn't so busy and I panicked I'd removed too much - nope, left the Dead Feet in there. Said agent realised her/his mistake pretty quickly and shooed away the zombie author the following day. I'm not actually a zombie, but I do feel like one at times. Like now.

Next day I sent off seven new queries (1 already rejected and 5 I'm a-waiting on). Anyhow, again I get a request. This time for a partial. This time from an amazing-wonderful agent (original agent was a-w too, but a-w in a different way). Thank the lord, fame here I come, sign me up for a huge grin for a month... Err, no.

Amazing-wonderful agent had some amazing and wonderful things to say - she really liked Lily (who wouldn't - ahem!), she thought she was hilarious and that all the characters were interesting (I think she meant that in a non italic way), she said I had talent and ideas and a great sense of humour, but... but... but... Okay, we need a new image here or maybe a sound:

Imagine a drum kit (cymbals included) crashing down stone steps in a marble-pillared public building. That's how I felt. You've been there, right?

So to the but - she found the story confusing, she thought that so much was foreshadowed that she never got to relax into the plot, and she suggested (in the nicest possible way) that the storytelling should be sensible. Eeeekkkkk!

Of course, as she is an amazing-wonderful agent, she ended with an invite to submit my next book to her. So do I put my head down and get on with my next book, well kind of... but mainly I twitter.

So the moral of the story is, 'The Poisoned Apple' will not net me an agent and even if I do get any more requests for fulls I fully expect to be shooed away within the week. Sometimes I confuse people, I get that. I often confuse people in the regular world and they know me. The non world realisation of the brilliance of TPA is okay though, for I am working on a 'most marvellous book' with a sensible plot (in my brain at least - oh dear) and I am plotting my next 'even more marvellous book' that, while not necessarily sensible, is certainly freaky. Oh, and I'm a YA writer now... Because I fear if I stick to MGs, I'll spend the next decade confusing people.